LONELINESS: IT HITS YOU HARD

When you are alone, you necessarily need not feel lonely. Loneliness becomes a part of one’s life, not just a feeling. It haunts you wherever you go, no matter whom you meet. It engulfs you to the point where you stop experiencing it and start living with it.

When you walk down the road or sitting on a table alone, seeing others chat with their parents or friends you feel sad, not because you are alone but because you know that you are going to be alone for a long time now.

At the end of a day’s work when you see everyone going back to their homes you dread going back to yours. Someone is waiting or expecting them back at home, but for you only the darkness in the hallway.

Philosophers and psychiatrists tell that a person should spend time alone to reflect on his thoughts. It is true that a person needs privacy to recollect the moments and reflect on his thoughts. But what about a person who spends so much time reflecting, that, his eyes turn moist abruptly and he can’t even explain others why tears run down his cheeks. Believe me, it has happened. People cry without any reason or hurt that can be described in words. They stop it just as abruptly. The worst is yet to come; when you have to explain others why you wept when you still don’t know why you did.

Lying on the bed, looking at the seconds hand tick by, you want to push time forward, make the night disappear. You want run away from the place you call home and be a part of the crowd. It would make you forget your loneliness momentarily, though everyone else in the crowd can sense something is wrong.

When a lonely person is asked why he looks downcast, he brushes it off saying he is fine and always was fine. He can’t say he is feeling lonely because he is afraid that others will think him as weak and, mind you, a lonely person never wants to be seen as a weak person.

Loneliness, it affects a person gradually but hits him hard, really hard.

P.S. : PAREIDOLIA-what every human has it within him, probably what I had while writing this.