Is God there?

As a toddler, sitting on your father’s shoulders with his hands folded around yours in the ‘namasthe’ posture you are introduced to the most powerful idea in the world, GOD.

As a child you look up to your parents, find in their words your inspiration. You feel secure that your parents will look after you. You are brought up in an environment where you are constantly monitored, looked after, with someone always telling you what is right and what’s wrong. They lord over you, albeit in a graceful and benign manner in some cases and harsher in others. But the lordship has always comforted you as it makes you feel secure. But growing up, you know that your parents aren’t always right, opinions differ and arguments arise. Still your need for someone to look after you doesn’t go. It is ingrained in our minds and our thought process, whether we accept it or not.

So where do we go looking after for that comfort and security? We invent someone. We make ourselves believe that someone more powerful than us is living somewhere and ruling over us. We call the idea, GOD.

Nature was human’s first God. He had to live in nature like other life forms and had to respect it. Gradually, his dominance over it grew and began to look for another God. Here God and religion in the form we know today came about; organised, ritualistic, orthodox, gradually seeping into people’s minds as it was the most easily available thought and idea present to comfort people.

Everything that was useful and comforting to man came to be associated with God. For instance, let us take the aspect of light. Light, as in sunshine, is useful for man. So it was used by man to describe God. Every religion shows its God in eye-blinding brightness. Arjuna, when he saw Krishna in the full brightness. Christ resurrected himself in daylight in a way which bathed the whole world in brightness. The angels or devas are always a halo which shines and the Gods invariably wear white as this colour displays brightness in the most glaring form. The sun is invoked as God in many cultures. The moon, too, is invoked as a God because it is a source of light in darkness. But darkness is never invoked as a God. Even if it is, at least, it never has come into prominence. Why is this? Simple, humans were always uncomfortable in dark. This was true in older days. So it came to be associated with devils and ghosts. This idea was passed through generations. So even to this day darkness is linked to everything that’s bad, though it’s just another half of a day.

God has always been someone who has everything with him (or her) that a human craves for. That has always been the image of God in human’s mind.

Now the rituals come into existence. It was brought about by elders to control youngsters who reel. They were made to follow these rituals lest they face God’s anger. It is a very powerful took thought it may sound silly. There are many among us who don’t take a haircut on Tuesdays, who take a bath before going to a place of worship, don’t eat meat or drink or smoke only because one’s God doesn’t allow us to but not because of one’s conscience, we invoke God every time we see a temple, even if perfunctorily or even afraid to use small caps while writing God lest we face God’s anger.

The rituals are good to discipline a person but if overdone can make the person not think about whether his actions are right and appropriate. The biggest danger about these rituals is that it looks down upon the person who questions these. It endangers the single most fundamental aspect which differentiates humans from other life forms, the ability to question and think. Why, what and how- only these made us advance in life and help us in lead better lives. Rituals are good, but only those which stand up to scrutiny and there are not many that do.

God, in the form we invoke him has never been there. It was created just for us to inspire and motivate ourselves. We draw strength from our own resolve. God was created only to make this easier.

I maybe wrong and I’ll be glad if someone proves me so.

P.S: This is dedicated to all those who believe in God with all their heart, not to those who invoke God only in times of crisis. Unfortunately, I think I belong to the latter.

LONELINESS: IT HITS YOU HARD

When you are alone, you necessarily need not feel lonely. Loneliness becomes a part of one’s life, not just a feeling. It haunts you wherever you go, no matter whom you meet. It engulfs you to the point where you stop experiencing it and start living with it.

When you walk down the road or sitting on a table alone, seeing others chat with their parents or friends you feel sad, not because you are alone but because you know that you are going to be alone for a long time now.

At the end of a day’s work when you see everyone going back to their homes you dread going back to yours. Someone is waiting or expecting them back at home, but for you only the darkness in the hallway.

Philosophers and psychiatrists tell that a person should spend time alone to reflect on his thoughts. It is true that a person needs privacy to recollect the moments and reflect on his thoughts. But what about a person who spends so much time reflecting, that, his eyes turn moist abruptly and he can’t even explain others why tears run down his cheeks. Believe me, it has happened. People cry without any reason or hurt that can be described in words. They stop it just as abruptly. The worst is yet to come; when you have to explain others why you wept when you still don’t know why you did.

Lying on the bed, looking at the seconds hand tick by, you want to push time forward, make the night disappear. You want run away from the place you call home and be a part of the crowd. It would make you forget your loneliness momentarily, though everyone else in the crowd can sense something is wrong.

When a lonely person is asked why he looks downcast, he brushes it off saying he is fine and always was fine. He can’t say he is feeling lonely because he is afraid that others will think him as weak and, mind you, a lonely person never wants to be seen as a weak person.

Loneliness, it affects a person gradually but hits him hard, really hard.

P.S. : PAREIDOLIA-what every human has it within him, probably what I had while writing this.

GURGAON- AN OUTSIDER'S VIEW

Whenever I conjure up an image of a city, I dream about it as if it is a girl. Mumbai, a slim, brown girl with jet black hair sporting a dye and has a haughty attitude, which, of course, adds to her sexiness. She always wears a jeans and tee (as if that’s the only dress worth wearing in the world). Delhi, a fair looking girl, flowing hair which is a mix of brown and black and chubby, but not fat. She is always bubbling with energy and whose manners are innocent. Chennai, a dark looking slim girl, who is intelligent in her manners and talk, can either sing or dance (the classical form), rooted to tradition and customs and looks gorgeous in a saree. 

Gurgaon, a girl who wears such tight fitting jeans and tee that seem to come apart at seams, wears make up with an intention to look more “you know what” but ends up looking worse. She tries to act innocent but it just enhances her stupid mannerisms.

I didn’t actually dream of the last girl (it would be a nightmare) but this was the image which popped in my mind after seeing the city.

When I first saw the numerous, huge malls I thought, “Dude, you’re lucky. You are in for a great time”. But after a month of seeing them daily the very sight of them made me feel sick, especially those which have more workers then customers.

You might have heard of the phrase “maniacs rule the road”. In Gurgaon, only maniacs drive on the road. The signal lights are a mere decorative piece standing upright in the middle of the road. If you ever want to witness a miracle, just stand near a round turner in this city.

It is an understatement to say the place is expensive. The “new” Gurgaon, especially, is obscenely expensive. You feel the whole place is expensive just to show others that it is an expensive place, not because it actually is. A guy can’t get a decent meal for an amount less then 100 and you won’t even feel satisfied after paying that much.

The bike is invariably driven by a delivery guy; you have to drive a Pulsar or Hunk to differentiate yourself from the delivery guys. Anything else and you are as good as a jaywalker who can be hit over and run. Don’t dare buy a SUV unless it is a Mercedes or Volkswagen’s, lest they mistake yours for a “menial” cab. Generally you see a Civic or City; a Maruti here is as rare as a Mercedes in any other town. The public transport is as good as Kurukshetra’s (you can imagine how it is).

The city is rich in the material sense but it has no distinct identity. I feel the city has become more American than an American city. It has a notion that to show your wealth is to flaunt it in a way that people can’t bear to stand near you. Only other snobs can bear with you.

What I have written may seem exaggerated to others, but, it is after all an outsider’s view.